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Joke of the Day

"Sweetie, will you buy me a cellphone? **Her**: Sweetie, will you buy me a cellphone? **Him**: What about the other one? **Her**: The other one is buying me a tablet."

"Two peanuts were walking down the street. And one was As-salted."

"Q: What is your least favorite force of nature? A: Gravity. It's always bringing me down."

"Have you seem the movie ""constipation""? Of course not, it hasn't come out yet! -Repost from r/funny-"

"Im voting Hillary Clinton this year. Because she dosnt suck"

"If my cat didn't want to smoke cigarettes then he never should have bought that leather jacket"

"Sex is like putting money in the bank.... When you take it out, the interest is all gone."

"Hot guy just walked up to me and said I was pretty so naturally I pulled out a Sharpie and drew a star on his forehead."

"Click here for joke. Click the back button for joke."

"What do you call a room full of Amish prostitutes? A furry fish market."