195020

Joke of the Day

"Why can't there be some sort of mathematic formula for making friends? A squadratic formula, if you will."

"Why Can't I Find Out Anything About This Superb Owl #superbowl"

"Two things you can always be certain about when it comes to women: 1) They're always cold. 2) It's somehow your fault."

"Cross-Eyed Monster: When I grow up I want to be a bus driver. Witch: Well I won't stand in your way."

"Iron Man and the Silver Surfer should team up. They'd be strong alloys."

"I just heard the most beautiful song. It was something about sluts in the club."

"A quantum physicist gets pulled over. The police officer asks ""Sir, do you have any idea how fast you were going?"" The quantum physicist responds ""No, but I know exactly where I am."""

"Don't lie you would touch all sorts of weird shit with a ten-foot pole."

"What water does Snake drink? Big Voss."

"What's the difference between a musician and a large cheese pizza? A large cheese pizza can feed a family of four."