194867
Joke of the Day
"The best way to dry off a wet baby is to leave him in a jar of rice overnight."
Next Joke
"Ironically I'm watching an exercise infomercial because I'm too lazy to get the remote."
"I like my women like how I like my White House... No Bush!!!!"
"What do you call the son of a Mexican and an Israeli? Jewnor."
"ME: nice fanny pack u weirdo KANGAROO: *puts phone in pouch, pulls out a knife* ME: holy shit"
"Shout out to my kids. BECAUSE SHOUTING IS THE ONLY WAY THEY HEAR ME."
"We save a lot of money on Halloween costumes by having naturally ugly children."
"A crazy looking girl threatened to punch me because I kept playing Taylor Swift on the Jukebox. I knew she was Trouble when she walked in."
"Australians don't have sex... They mate"
"Saw Bono kissing himself in the mirror. I looked at him in disgust and said.... ""Get a room U2!"""