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Joke of the Day

"I was thinking of ways to become transgender... So I figured I'd fly to Paris. Because then I'd be abroad."

"Way back when, I thought technology would look more like flying cars and less like me yelling ""The laptop's not a touch screen,"" at my kids."

"My moral compass must run on solar power, because it never seems to work after dark."

"Did you hear about the time that shallots, scallions, ramps, and leeks all got together? They tried to onionize."

"What is cheese's favorite music genre? R and Brie"

"What do you call a dinosaur who joins the band The Clash? A StayGosaurus"

"Why do women have sex? Because they have to."

"How many perverts does it take to insert a light bulb? Only one; However, it takes an entire emergency ward to get it back out again."

"A husband and a wife sit at the table, having dinner. The woman drops a bit of tomato sauce on her white top. ""Och, I look like a pig!"" The man nods, ""And you dropped tomato sauce on your top!"""

"A sadist met a masochist... and said ""hurt me"" ""No"" said the sadist."