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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between me and being artistic? The second letter."

"Cheez-Its are hands down the BEST cheese flavored pronouns."

"Justin Bieber made a racist joke when he was 15. Quick, someone give him $2 billion for his basketball team to teach him a lesson."

"Whoever got my Steam account for Christmas plz realize those Japanese dress up games are for research only, I don't enjoy them. Plz understa"

"Thank you, student loans, for helping me get through college. I don't think I can ever repay you."

"How many Vietnam vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb? You wouldn't know. You weren't there..."

"Sorry, I can't take your call right now, I'm all tied up. -submissive's answering machine."

"What do black people and Apple Inc. have in common? They have no jobs"

"My friend died today... He wasn't able to speak, but in his dying moments he wanted me to have his EpiPen. I'll cherish it forever."

"Don't masturbate with Crisco. It's shortening."