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Joke of the Day

"[1st date] So, what's your back story? ""I have scoliosis"" No, I mean your BACK STORY, like your history ""Oh! I got scoliosis as a child"""

"Tom Brady walks into a grocery store. He buys a bag of chips, equaling up to $1.75. How much does he give the cashier? 2 dollars, so he gets a quarter back."

"What's the difference between a hockey player and a hippie chick? The hockey player takes a shower after three periods."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To push Jake off a cliff.... he really hates Jake. as told by my 6 year old who hates a kid named Jake."

"How did Samuel Morse propose to his wife? .-- .. .-.. .-.. / -.-- --- ..- / -- .- .-. .-. -.-- / -- . ..--.."

"Somebody PLEASE come to my house and plug the power cord into my laptop."

"GAME SHOW IDEA: Man hands wife his phone. If he can let her look at it for 60 secs without looking uncomfortable, he wins a billion dollars."

"Chuck Norris doesn't need to wear condoms when having sex with women. Every women wants to be impregnated by Chuck Norris."

"My wife doesn't like me to shave my face for the same reason I like her to shave her pussy She says it makes me look like a 12 year old."

"Bono played a prank on me yesterday and I wasn't happy. He really pushed me over The Edge."