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Joke of the Day

"Helen Keller walks into a bar Then a table, then a stool..."

"Q. How can you tell if someone is half Catholic and half Jewish? A. When he goes to confession he takes a lawyer with him."

"What does a French carpenter say when he runs out of nails? I haven't a clous."

"I had sex with a can of Coke. The doctor told me that I had contracted... ...Genital Burpies."

"I am a Buddhist atheist, I hope I'm reincarnated as a atheist Buddhist."

"How are a 9-volt battery and a girl's asshole similar? Even though you know you shouldn't you lick it anyway."

"When my Mom found out I had asthma she sent me to a camp for Asthmatic children. It was so much fun.. singing songs around the Humidifire. ( yes I know how I spelt it )"

"[trial] Judge: how do you plead? ""not guilty"" J: but you've admitted to dropping an anvil on him. ""he asked me to make him a pancake"""

"Two flies are on a wall... One looks at the other one and says, ""Hey, your human is open""."

"Accept it. Your parents HAVE had sex before."