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Joke of the Day

"[trial] Judge: how do you plead? ""not guilty"" J: but you've admitted to dropping an anvil on him. ""he asked me to make him a pancake"""

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"Trainer: Why do you want to learn jujitsu? Person 1: To defend myself. Person 2: Discipline. Me: My girlfriend keeps stealing my fries."
"Dark humor is like a child with terminal cancer It never gets old"
"Why God impregnated Mary? Because instead of ""Oh Joseph! Cum in me!"", Mary said ""Oh God! Cum in me!"""
"Politicians are like sperm And often I find myself asking ""How did this one win?"""
"Did you hear about the guy who lost his left leg and arm in a car crash? He's all right now."
"If the World Trade Center was in India.... Would the terrorist attack be on 7/11?"
"Haven't listened to Staind since middle school... ...it's been awhile"
"They say you can't skip leg day Ironically it is because of leg day that you can't skip."
"Repeat after me: President Trump."