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Joke of the Day

"robin williams punchlines were always on point i never thought he would ultimately leave us hanging"

"Scissors Commercial: *Montage of people karate chopping paper in half* Narrator: Don't you wish there was a better... Nevermind that was rad"

"The most epic stage name for a Chinese porn actor would be Mao ""The Dong"""

"Hey let's meet somewhere for drinks and text the people we'd rather be hanging out with."

"What do you say when you find two banana peels together? Answer: A pair of slipper"

"What do internet football fans sing? E we go E we go E we go!"

"Why couldn't the pirate play cards? Because he was sitting on the deck!"

"I love plants. They are the only living things that do not run away from me."

"What do you call a fat person who likes trance music? Trans fat"

"Hi 911, I'd like to report a drunk naked guy blasting off truck nuts w/ a shotgun. Time of incident? [takes drink] In about 20 minutes lol"