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Joke of the Day
"""My lips are sealed."" -Virgins."
Next Joke
"Anti Jokes How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side!"
"Pokemon Go has taught us that there's a disturbing number of dead bodies just laying around everywhere"
"Sometimes I feel a seal is just a neutral sea lion Neutral as in Without an ion"
"Just because someone found out how to connect a keyboard and a portable radio together doesn't make them a nerd That would be stereotyping."
"Who the hell called it 69ing... Instead of cuddlingus."
"idk about you but I still remember what I was doing when I found out Kennedy had been shot: sitting at home, reading the JFK Wikipedia page"
"When I'm dead, I'm going to haunt offices and say, ""OooOoo... why are you using your mouse?... hit Control-C... you're taking forever..."""
"What do the Enterprise and and toilet paper have in common? They both circle around Uranus searching for klingons."
"A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis? her mom said you should have asked me last night it was at the tip of my tongue."