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Joke of the Day

"When I'm dead, I'm going to haunt offices and say, ""OooOoo... why are you using your mouse?... hit Control-C... you're taking forever..."""

"Shout out to Mother Earth! She's 4.6 billion years old and still getting hotter."

"I am forced to give up golf after breaking my leg. I fell off the ball washer."

"My mate died from a bad case of heartburn I can't believe Gaviscone."

"Why you don't ask grandma sex questions I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, ""No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."""

"How many reposts does it take to change a subreddit? More than we have now. This sub is still shit."

"Spent over an hour at the wife's grave this morning. Bless her, she thinks I'm digging a pond."

"What's the best thing to come out of a penis? The wrinkles."

"What did the neckbeard say while giving the eulogy for his extremely flatulent friend? Rip in peace"

"What does a dog do that you step in? Pants."