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Joke of the Day

"Just because someone found out how to connect a keyboard and a portable radio together doesn't make them a nerd That would be stereotyping."

"Brie is my favorite cheese that sounds like a white girl you meet for a mani/pedi while drinking Chardonnay & quoting ""Mean Girls."""

"Whaddya call a large lizard in a trench coat? an investigator."

"I can only fall asleep if someone kneels at my bedside with their mouth open & full of Pop Rocks"

"How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb? Third as many as for a regular bulb."

"LPT: If your phone gets water damage, leave it in a bowl of rice overnight. When you're sleeping, Asians will come to eat the rice and will fix your phone for fun"

"Worst thing about having a daughter is... No matter how hard you try you're daughter is gonna have some other man's dick in her mouth."

"What does Arizona name Colorado? Border Collie"

"I spent this past weekend baby-proofing my house... I'm not having a baby, but I hung up a bunch of anime posters to make sure that I never do."

"A person's tongue immediately becomes a toothbrush after you mention ""teeth"" in a conversation."