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Joke of the Day

"""Y'know, she was actually pretty convincing."" - Me walking out of a movie where Meryl Streep plays a Chinese UFC fighter"

"In high school, everyone used to call me the class clown it was probably because of the face paint."

"I was addicted to freezing poultry. I had to go cold turkey."

"I never really wear camouflage. It's just something that I can never see myself wearing."

"I'm trying to give up sexual innuendos but it's hard... So hard."

"Hi, is your resort child friendly? Yes it is sir. Would you like to make a reservation? *hangs up"

"I was up late last night, trying to figure out why the sun disappeared Then it dawned on me...."

"I bought a new book today called X-ray vision for beginners.' I'm having a look through it now."

"One Gay Greek says to another, ""Do you think you'll ever go back to Greece?"" ""No,"" he answered, ""I'll stick with K-Y Jelly!"""

"I once knew a girl called Virginia... We called her Virgin for short, but not for long!"