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Joke of the Day

"I was just hit on by a 13 year old, I blame you MTV. Girls should be sugar & spice and everything NICE! Not orange and pregnant."

"Breaking Ne ws"

"What do you call an empty jar of cheez whiz? Sheez was!"

"In the trailer for the fourth Transformers movie a guy says ""what the hell is that"" when a Transformer approaches. THE FOURTH MOVIE."

"How many LA cops does it take to change light bulb? Six. One to do it and five to smash the old bulb to splinters."

"How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. But, I still can't figure out how they got in there."

"she died doing what she loved: looking at her phone while crossing the street"

"Why did the hipster cross the road? To get to a place you've probably never heard of."

"I've got a new pet salamander.. I named it Tiny because it is my newt"

"[raises hand during kickboxing lesson] when do we get to kick boxes? [instructor] that's not what we- [me] I just hate boxes so damn much"