102029

Joke of the Day

"Why did the hipster cross the road? To get to a place you've probably never heard of."

"I was talking to this guy at the gym about push-ups. ""How many reps would you usually do?"" he asked. ""A million,"" I rep lied."

"My grandpa slept in snow in the Battle of the Bulge & I'm considering throwing out this cup of water bc it has some tiny floaty things in it"

"The trick to a good joke is nailing the punchline. Jesus Christ"

"My boss said to me. ""You're the worst train driver. How many have you derailed this year?"" I said "" im not sure, its hard to keep track"""

"I told my pregnant girl friend that she was as big as a 747. That did not fly."

"What do you give a losing horse with lockjaw? A new jaw-key"

"Today a cartoonist was found dead at home. Details are sketchy."

"[taking a picture] Me: ""Make love to the camera!"" Grandma: ""Don't make this weird, dear."""

"Financial Tip: When laundering money, always separate the bills from the coins and use the delicate cycle with a gentle detergent."