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Joke of the Day
"she died doing what she loved: looking at her phone while crossing the street"
Next Joke
"What do you call a dumb musician? Curt Nobrain...."
"[Dinner with GF's parents] Thank you for having me over, can I use the bathroom? ""MAY I use the bathroom"" *slams fists down* I ASKED FIRST"
"what gets wet as it dries? your sister"
"What did Stalin say to all the thousands of people he killed? Crimea river"
"MTV stopped having their ""Unplugged"" specials because the shitty artists we have now can't play any instruments."
"Explaining KARMA! It's when you throw a banana in Mario kart, and then, you lose the race because you got caught up in your own banana!"
"I wish you were my big toe So I could bang you on my coffee table"
"A programmer goes on a walk. Before he leaves the house his wife tells him: ""While you are outside, please buy some bread."" He never returned."
"Why does Donald Trump dislike trees? Because they're brown and don't speak English."