194067

Joke of the Day

"Cats are weird. They look at you like they want to set you on fire then look all surprised when you toss them into the ceiling fan."

"I'm not proud of this, but if the price is right, I'll buy your high school kid alcohol."

"Did you hear about the Chinese godfather? He made them an offer they couldn't understand."

"What is the most common blood type among pessimists? B Negative."

"A teen is telling his parents what he wants to major in ""I want to be a history major,"" he says. The dad responds, ""No you don't! There's no future in it!"""

"Always thought my Chinese neighbor was super religious... Turns out he was just playing all the time. Just came up with this. I'll show myself out."

"I can't be the only one that sees the day when a direct message from a catfish is called carp DM."

"If you want to work for a company that makes moisturiser, the best thing to do is to apply daily."

"What's the difference between 7/11 and 9/11? One is a part-time job the other an inside"

"Where do people with ADHD go? To concentration camps."