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Joke of the Day

"My dad everyone... Dad: U at home? Me: No. Dad: Where? Me: Hairdresser. Dad: Aaahhh. They putting pants an blouse on ur hair ? Get it. Hair dresser. Lol Ugh."

"What is all that useless flesh around a woman's vagina? The woman."

"Did you know our brains are 75% fat? Thinking about putting mine on a diet."

"Q: Why is Bill Clinton called ""middle of the road Democrat""? A: Because he's got a wide yellow stripe down the middle of his two-lane back."

"A girl asked me if I would like to see her pussy... ...and then she showed me her cat!"

"Did you hear about the guy who tied to put his package into tried to put his package into the mail box? He thought it was a fe-mail box"

"How does a man take a bubble bath? He eats beans for dinner."

"I yelled ""STOP EATING CAT TURDS OR IT WILL HURT WHEN YOU POOP!"" & my dog stopped eating, so if you need a motivational speaker contact me"

"Parkinson's My friend asked me the other day if I had any advice for dealing with Parkinson's, apparently 'just shake it off' wasn't the right answer."

"What does a red neck divorce and a burning meth lab have in common? Someone's losing a trailer. Edit: Because I fucked up."