37780

Joke of the Day

"Why did the chicken cross the road half-way? She wanted to lay it on the line."

"What do you call an old man's hard on? Petrified wood."

"Two brothers wrote an exam. One got in, the other didn't. The one who didn't get in got in the second time. His TWIN chance was what got him in."

"What do you get when you combine a watch with a dog? An eternally suffering abomination...YOU MONSTER!"

"NOW THAT is a great looking tie! just. WOW. I mean, SHIT, that's nice! seriously, that tie is fucking PERFECT! ... I ran over your kid."

"A scientist was playing scrabble with his wife She played ""PINE"", he had ""LMHIOJK"". He played all of his letters at once to form a 8-letter word along with the ""N"". What did he make? H20"

"Did you hear about the toilet at The Duggars' house? 19 poops and counting!"

"Quitting smoking is easy. I've done it three times now."

"What animal do I respect most? The octopus. I have no idea what to do with my hands most of the time, and I only have two of them."

"I know how the Force Awakens ends! Credits."