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Joke of the Day

"Man is like spider.. .. bound to have sticky hand when on web!"

"A tornado walks into a bar and orders a Hurricane. The bartender asks why he is ordering a Hurricane when he is a tornado. The tornado responds with ""I am a hurricane induced tornado""."

"""Any two-watt bulbs?"" ""For what?"" ""That'll do. I'll take two."" ""Two what?"" ""I thought you didn't have any."" ""Any what?"" ""Yes, please."""

"I heard the comedians at Jamestown were pretty bad... The punchlines were so shitty everyone died."

"My wife is getting fatter... I noticed when her whip cream bikini turned into a one piece"

"""Stupid kid fell in the well again."" -if Lassie had been a cat"

"Girlfriend and I placed a bet to see who was better at Super Smash Bros for the N64 I beat her so badly! I do wish we had a chance to actually play a race before I had to take her to the hospital..."

"I tried to put two apples together But then I got a pear"

"We live in a world where we have to hide to make love, while violence is practiced in broad daylight."

"Just need to grow I wanted to grow my own food but I couldn't get bacon seeds anywhere."