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Joke of the Day

"My wife is getting fatter... I noticed when her whip cream bikini turned into a one piece"

"What comes between fear and sex? Funf!"

"Guy comes to my door and asks if I want to be a Jehovah's Witness I said, ""Hey man I didn't even see the accident"""

"My friend just graduated from her ballet course in university. She got a (2:2)"

"Boy, is my face red! Fingering a suspect means something totally different at the police station, you guys."

"How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb? One. We are efficient and don't like humour."

"What was the radioactive senior citizen's super power? Gramma Rays"

"What does a sandwich filling share in common with Joffrey Lannister? They are both in bread."

"*driving my date to the ER* I told you my possum doesn't like direct eye contact. This one is on you."

"I tried eharmony. They kept matching me up with women who look like me in a wig. I'd be too intimidated to date someone that attractive."