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Joke of the Day
"Just need to grow I wanted to grow my own food but I couldn't get bacon seeds anywhere."
Next Joke
"How many hobos does it take to screw in a light bulb? They don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in dumpsters"
"Don't joke about 9/11. My father died that day. I clearly remember what the last words he said to me were. ''Allahu Akbar''"
"I'm very good at hurdles In fact I hold the personal record"
"[catches spider in a glass] spider: omg are you going to drink me? me: oh no this is just to take you outside spider: me: spider: drink me"
"I'm in Germany. Time to drink precisely one bier (beer) and call every man ""Hans"""
"Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the town Not a creature was Tweeting, cause favstar was down."
"DOG: [looking out the window] wat a beautiful mornimg! the sky is grey, the grass is grey, the birds are grey and readey to eat,"
"I saw my friend at the pool today for the first time in a long time and I said... Hey! WATER you doing here?"
"I met a guy who said he could get a great deal on a pillowcase... turns out, it was a sham."