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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between fucking you and 9/11? No one forgot about 9/11"

"Whats white blue and rectangular? A fridge with a denim jacket on."

"Worst idea you'll ever have is oiling your 4 year-old's squeaky bedroom door. Congratulations, you just made a ninja."

"What do you call a near-empty bag of cereal? Luckily Charms"

"Guy in the club: *lifts up his shirt* I do 400 crunches a day. Me: How many more until you get a personality?"

"Two Problems with North Carolina: Too many racists, and too many GODDAMN ASIANS."

"Why did the moth nibble a hole in the carpet ? He wanted to see the floor show !"

"A guy asked me if I wanted some free fish... I asked, ""What's the catch?"""

"Don't move leaves without their permission... That's rake."

"The world right now is like when you'd get bored with your Sim City and just use all the disaster options at once"