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Joke of the Day

"Worst idea you'll ever have is oiling your 4 year-old's squeaky bedroom door. Congratulations, you just made a ninja."

"Did you know that half of all Harleys ever made are still on the road? Yep, they never made it home."

"I think it's funny how I can sleep right through my blaring alarm clock but I'll wake up to the slightest phantom vibrations from my phone."

"Commander: ARCHERS READY Archer: (to guy next to him) dude tbh I was zoned out wtf we supposed to be shooting at"

"My girlfriend left me a roll of quarters for laundry today She told me to try to not blow it all on one load..."

"A woman tells her doctor, 'I've got a bad back.' The doctor says, 'It's old age.' The woman says, 'I want a second opinion.' The doctor says: 'Okay - you're ugly as well.'"

"Some gamers think that it's wrong to cheat... but i think its down right left triangle up square down left square right circle cross"

"""Can't argue with that!"" he said, pointing to an inanimate object."

"I thought I was drowning in an ocean of orange soda yesterday.... It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea."

"Moms that name their daughters Stacy are the real narcissists."