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Joke of the Day

"Don't move leaves without their permission... That's rake."

"*smashes into treehouse* Gimme all ur snacks! *kid reaches for cans on a string to make emergency call but I already snipped the string*"

"What the difference between a filthy bus station and a crab with implants? One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean ......"

"Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses the finest ingredients, *asshole*."

"What's the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? A boy scout comes home from camp"

"Why did the pilot hit the Alps? To get to the other side."

"What do you call a robbery in China ? A Chinese take away !"

"People who like trance music are very persistent. They don't techno for an answer"

"Women get yeast infections So that they know what it's like to live with an irratating cunt."

"75% of humans masterbate in the shower, the other 25% hum, do you know what song they hum? Well then I guess I know which percentage you're in."