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Joke of the Day

"Double standars If a woman has sex with lots of men, people call her a slut. If a man does the same, they call him an homosexual."

"I don't use pepper spray when I'm being robbed I just open my wallet and blow the dust into their eyes."

"What kind of soldier doesn't need bullets? The kind of soldier that's always shooting his mouth off."

"People say I'm a people person It's like a dog person, but with a lot more chains in my basement."

"Blows you, kisses See proper punctuation is important"

"Mom: I think I'm gonna make a twitter Me: Mom it costs like $500 a year... Mom: That's expensive I'll stick with Facebook Me: Aww too bad"

"Fishermen are reel men."

"To all those people who never finish what they start, I say..."

"Transform chocolate into a balanced meal by eating it standing on one leg WITHOUT falling over. Chocolate yoga: it's the next big thing."

"Donald Trump? Donald Trump"