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Joke of the Day

"I pronounce CHampagne & CHandelier like CHimp so the lower class thinks I'm ""approachable"" & the upper class thinks I'm ""eclectic"""

"What is the best thing about duct tape? It turns no no no into mm mm mmmm."

"Today i learned that the average person has 8 sexual partners in their lifetime Today i also learned im a whore"

"How do you make soup from a computer? It's easy; just throw in a couple of Boolean cubes."

"Umm Leo, there has been a mistake... Steve Harvey wrote the cards."

"*unrolls blueprints of a dick* no no no this part has got to go. dont know what this does... gone. lets put a ruby here. in the shaft"

"Why are leggings and sand the same? They both get stuck in camel toe."

"I put on my pants just like you, reluctantly, when the doorbell rings."

"i have a moving image of jesus on my pc monitor. i guess you could say it's my screen saviour."

"The secret to making a truly tasty vegan burger is to use beef."