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Joke of the Day

"Why are leggings and sand the same? They both get stuck in camel toe."

"Why does it take Sarah Palin so long to get ready in the morning? Because she has two faces."

"""The Force Awakens"" had 0 people riding giant CGI lizards. How is that even science fiction? They might as well rename it ""Downton Abbey."""

"I decided to cancel my gym membership today... ...just didn't work out."

"Sneezing while driving is my version of extreme sports."

"My new girlfriend asked me how I felt about kids. With my hands was apparently not the right answer."

"What does Jean Valjean use to listen to music? Cosettes."

"Did you hear the one about the guy who had to go to the ER with six toy horses in his anus? They listed his condition as stable."

"There aren't that many casinos in Africa. Cause there are too many cheetahs. And if you meet one who claims he isn't a cheetah, he's probably lion to you."

"Wooden leg. My friend said he knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith. So I asked him ""What was the name of his other leg?"""