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Joke of the Day

"Umm Leo, there has been a mistake... Steve Harvey wrote the cards."

"Why are there interstates in Hawaii?"

"I told my doctor that i broke my arm in two places He told me to stop going to those places"

"I just sprayed a mosquito... with mosquito repellent. Now he'll never have any friends."

"So, I walk in on daughter masturbating with a carrot. I shout, ""Fuck! Seriously? I was going to eat that later, and now it's just going to taste like carrots!"""

"Doctor: Open your mouth (inserts tongue depressor) Me: Mmm, this tastes good. Dr: You should have tasted it when the Popcicle was on it!"

"COP: Give back the money you stole ME: Already spent it COP: On what? ME: Karate lessons which [does vague swishes w/ hand] I did not attend"

"A woman walks into a bar... and says to the bartender, ""I'd like a beer please."" The bartender asks, ""Anheuser Busch?"" She responds, ""Just fine thanks, and how's your cock?"""

"Maybe it's the PCP, but have you guys noticed that flaming dude that floats around your head in a bubble shaved his mustache?"

"I saw a ballet themed porn the other day. It was 'Fucking en Pointe'."