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Joke of the Day
"i have a moving image of jesus on my pc monitor. i guess you could say it's my screen saviour."
Next Joke
"What's an advantage of being Swiss? The flag is a big plus."
"A Girl To Doctor: When I Smoke Cigarette, I Feel Very Uncomfortable, On First Puff, I Put Off My Shoes. On Second, My Socks. On Third, My Shirt. Doctor: Take This Cigarette And Tell Me In Detail."
"I hate meeting new people. It's like sitting through a fucking job interview to apply for the position of ""acquaintance."""
"Why do Scottish men wear kilts? 'Cause the sound of a zipper scares the FUCK out of sheep."
"A missionary came to my door asking if I could help with the floods in India. I said sure, but my garden hose only reaches to the end of the driveway."
"The ""Parmesan"" cheese in the USA is an abomination of the original. Start buying parmigiano reggiano and make America grate again."
"Damn girl, are you the Sunday crossword because I want to spend all day doing you..."
"Who are the greatest financiers in the bible? Noah, all his stock was afloat when the rest of the world was in liquidation, and Pharaohs' daughter, who went to the bank and found a little prophet."
"On a scale of North Korea to America, how free are you tonight?"