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Joke of the Day

"My Swedish friend asked me to stop making Ikea jokes. Ikea'nt"

"At least I now know why the lions leave the plains before the end of summer. Because the Pride goeth before the Fall."

"I ran over a kid in a John Cena shirt but in my defense, i couldn't see him"

"What's the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into men when they drink."

"Son, always wait 30 minutes after eating before swimming ""But dad we're goldfish"" Oh yeah, I forgot ""Forgot what?"""

"so my brother noticed that his church uses girls as ""altar boys"" i had to tell him that not all priests are gay."

"I love dry erase boards... They're remarkable."

"Police Chief: Why did you arrest that doctor? Officer: He was trying to take someone's pulse."

"What time is it when yo mama sits on a chair? Time to buy a new chair."

"You said clothes were 50% off But not one woman in here is topless That false advertising!"