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Joke of the Day

"I walked into my local fishmongers when i saw the manager of the store slapping his penis with a fish. I **cod** not believe it!"

"Stay away from a place called, ""Farm Fresh Restaurant"". I ordered the chicken soup. A rooster walked up and teabagged his ball$ in a hot bowl of water at my table."

"Reforming FIFA analogy-1 Reforming FIFA by Sep Blatter is like reforming Tax for wealthy people by Donald Trump"

"If I lived in Gotham City I'd always be hinting I was Batman to get freebies. ""I'll get the bat-check. I mean regular check. Bat-thanks."""

"What did the little boy say upon putting the finishing piece on his Snow man ""For the watch"""

"You Tolkien to me?!"" - Hobbit de Niro."

"Hilary clinton married for love Love of power, sure, but it's technically love"

"Halloween is the perfect time to trick people into believing you aren't really going to use that ice pick you're carrying around."

"New boyfriend is allergic to kitten so can't keep him :( He's ginger & named Tom. Friendly. Comes when called. 28yrs-old & works in IT."

"I think sitting on an airplane is the most exhausting type of sitting."