205469

Joke of the Day

"Halloween is the perfect time to trick people into believing you aren't really going to use that ice pick you're carrying around."

"Well, you know what they say about nice guys... ..they always let girls come first."

"Just beat my record for most consecutive days without dying."

"Love is blind, said the blind to the deaf I can see that."

"i only watch superbowl for the commercials.i am unsure how to spend my surplus income &desperately need suggestions via talking animals"

"Doctor, Doctor, I'm addicted to twitter... Sorry, I don't follow you."

"ITS A BOY"" I shouted ""A BOY, I DON'T BELIEVE IT, ITS A BOY"". And with tears streaming down my face I swore I'd never visit another Thai Brothel!"

"Cheating in a joke. A man cheats on his girlfriend Lorraine with a woman named Clearly. Lorraine dies suddenly. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, ""I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."""

"""I wish I had more time to read"" he said as Netflix automatically played the next episode."

"I got new neighbors today, I hope they like my music as much as the last 9 families did."