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Joke of the Day

"Hilary clinton married for love Love of power, sure, but it's technically love"

"The first time I realised I was dyslexic... Was when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat."

"An Irishman walks out of a bar. Badum, ssssshhhhhhh"

"My description of today's front page... BEARY FUNNY!!!! http://i.imgur.com/en5msOs.png"

"I'm sick and tired of scandals always being named ""-gate"" The only thing about it that consoles me is there's a parallel universe where Watergate Hotel was instead named after John Hancock."

"Isn't it time we stopped celebrating Columbus day? Peter Falk died in 2011."

"""It goes from zero to sixty in 5 seconds."" ""Great. And exactly how much cocaine can I fit in the glove box?"" - Anyone buying a white BMW"

"*takes construction hat to vet* Please help. My turtle hasn't moved in 8 years."

"DATING TIP: You never want to seem too easy! So set up a date and never show up."

"Don't be fooled by looks, butterflies taste just like moths."