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Joke of the Day

"Number of US states who claim above average elementary test scores? 50. Number of US states who shouldn't be allowed to teach math? 25."

"Whats the difference between a retard and a woman? The retard doesn't need to be buggered to think he's special."

"I fan speak a little French I'd like to bon appetit (bone a petite) Edit: can not fan"

"Go away bee, don't bother me. A wise man once told me, if a bee is bothering you, don't swat or run away, just stand still and look right at it, because seeing is believing."

"A guy and his girlfriend are talking Her: Come over. Him: I'm coming over. Her: We should stop using walkie talkies in bed, over."

"Breaking: Fox News reports Obama is no longer a suspect."

"Why were the dyslexic lesbians frustrated? They kept trying 96 but couldn't make each other cum."

"Are these the Americans? No. Are these the Americans? No. Are these the Americans? No. - watching the Olympics with my wife"

"There are two types of guys. Those who eat pussy and those who lie they don't eat pussy."

"So I just preordered a Jet Black IPhone.. Lol jk"