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Joke of the Day

"Go away bee, don't bother me. A wise man once told me, if a bee is bothering you, don't swat or run away, just stand still and look right at it, because seeing is believing."

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"Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are in a plane crash. Who survives? Reposts."
"*washes your smart car with a moist towelette*"
"I don't want to brag but I have a really nice bum. Found him under the bridge."
"Me have great grammar... Me learnt everything I know from Sesame Street!"
"I saw a kid getting bullied by 4 people, so I decided to help out. He didn't stand a chance against the 5 of us."
"I went for a job interview. The bloke asked, ""Where do you see yourself in 10 yrs time?"" ""Same as now - in photos and mirrors,"" I replied"
"Movie comes on while im in bed: ugh ive seen this a million times Movie comes on before I have to get ready for work: oh hell yea a classic"
"Why was Barbie kicked out of the toy box? because she kept sitting on pinocchio's face moaning, ""lie to me!"""
"As a child I remember lying in bed with my eyes closed waiting for Santa to come. Then there was the awkward silence as he got dressed and left."