193412

Joke of the Day

"What do you say to a one legged hitch hiker hop in"

"Checking if my webcam is on when I do really shady shit is my grown up version of checking under my bed for monsters."

"What is Donald Trump's favorite music album? The Wall"

"I couldn't imagine my parents having sex So last night I hid in their closet and watched"

"""Hey, that shit looks fun. Don't do that."" - religion"

"""Yoda, are we supposed to be here?"" ""Off course we are."""

"Don't use the Internet ...when you have low self confidence. JUST KIDDING, THAT IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULD USE IT!"

"Cop: You were speeding so I'm going to be giving you a ticket Me: Ooh, could I win something Cop: Sort of, 2 more of these & you get a bike"

"[after raking leaves into a pile on my lawn] ME: ah, perfect. these leaves are all tidy and there is nothing that can change this"

"How many people with OCD does it take to change a light bulb? Seven. It *has* to be seven."