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Joke of the Day

"Cop: You were speeding so I'm going to be giving you a ticket Me: Ooh, could I win something Cop: Sort of, 2 more of these & you get a bike"

"I remember lying in bed as a kid, waiting for Santa to come... Then there was that awkward silence as he got dressed and left."

"What was the root of the problem dark ages? The potato famine."

"I have a great ebola joke! You probably won't get it"

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? a Lickalotopuss"

"Why is Jesus terrible at hockey? He keeps getting pinned to the boards."

"I was arrested for killing a black man I'm a black man EDIT: I'm a half black man"

"I think my neighbour's been stalking me, she's been googling my name on her computer I saw it through my telescope last night"

"what was hitler's favorite weather pattern? HEIL"

"How often do you guys close your internet tabs? One of mine is from the Kerry/Edwards campaign."