81617

Joke of the Day

"[after raking leaves into a pile on my lawn] ME: ah, perfect. these leaves are all tidy and there is nothing that can change this"

"What do you call a social networking site for women who love to masturbate? cunterest"

"What did Peter rabbit say to his girlfriend when they broke up? ""Now you're just some bunny that I used to know."""

"Imagine if a guy with a stutter was named History because History repeats himself"

"Since it started raining all my girlfriend has done is look through the window. If it gets any worse I'm thinking about letting her in."

"What did Ozzy Osbourne do after eating a whole Bull? He threw up the horns."

"Which rappers had a flow that could simultaneously speed up and slow down at the same time? MC Escher"

"How do Russians watch online movies? Nyetflix!"

"Knock knock. ""Who's there?"" Christopher Walken. ""Christopher Walken who?"" Christopher Walken and then walk out after his weird cameo."

"If a married couple in the city get in a fight, it's called domestic violence. In the country it's called sibling rivalry."