193300

Joke of the Day

"Thanks to Bruce Jenner, they're changing the name of the male-to-female sex change surgery. They're now going to call it the Dick-Off-A-Lon."

"There's a Bush and a Clinton running for president next year."

"How to sink a submarine with 10 blondes in it? You knock on the door."

"Swimming ""Hey, is that ur Kid in the swimming pool?"" 'No, my kid can't swim'"

"Why are all smart Mexicans guys gay? Because they do their essays."

"What do you call the guy you buy your weed from? Your chron-tact."

"""Jared"" from Subway recently posted an image on Reddit of him sucking a minor's penis ... ... he later deleted the image and replied ""Oops, wrong sub."""

"I think the 2016 Cubs would beat the 1908 Cubs. First, the 1908 Cubs are all dead. Second, the 2016 Cubs are all alive."

"""Hello, Time Warner? I need to speak with someone about setting up local Gotham cable in a secret prison. Yes, I'll hold."" - Bane"

"[almost at the moon] Buzz: *explosive diarrhea* DID YOU PUT SOMETHING IN THE TANG, ARMSTRONG? Neil: *steals speech out of his pocket* nope"