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Joke of the Day

"Forget sex positions, has anyone found a reading position that doesn't get uncomfortable after about 5 minutes?"

"What Hillary's word for a bribe? Pay her and she'll speak to you about it."

"Whats the easiest way to drown a blonde? Glue a penny to the bottom of a swimming pool ALTERNATE ENDING: Put a scratch n' sniff at the bottom of a swimming pool"

"Her: See ya later alligator! Me: *slithers into swamp*"

"Bill Clinton was seeing his counselor... And his counselor asked how Hillary's head was doing with all this e-mail controversy. Bill replied, ""Still not as good as Monica's."""

"How do you get a nun pregnant? You fuck her."

"Vegetarian Club I met a girl that said she recognised me from the vegetarian club, but i had never met herbivore."

"All the gingers I know have pretty good morals... I guess you can't really sell your soul to the devil when you don't have one to begin with."

"I told my friend she drew her eye brows on too high... She looked surprised."

"Is there a hole in your shoe? No. Then how did you get your foot into it?"