193261

Joke of the Day

"What's something that some people don't get about jokes with sexual innuendo? That it's a fucking joke."

"My girlfriend told me to kiss her where it stinks... So I drove her to New Jersey.."

"My girlfriend just told me, I'm sorry I am married."

"How good are Tesco's meatballs? They're the dog's bollocks!"

"Text me once, shame on you. Text me twice, congratulations, we are now trapped in an infinite emotional prison."

"Why did Simba's father die? He couldn't Move Fasa"

"[pet shop] ME: I'm looking for a dog that can talk OWNER: Try this one ME: [to dog] Can you talk? DOG: No ME: My search continues"

"Bernie Sanders is such a socialist... ...he gave Hillary Clinton half the votes in Iowa."

"I really like the concept of train tickets. It's an idea I could get onboard with."

"Two blondes in a hole Two blondes fell down a hole. One said, ""It's dark in here isn't it?"" The other replied, ""I don't know; I can't see."""