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Joke of the Day
"What do you call an epileptic in the garden? Seizure salad"
Next Joke
"Why are gay people always confused? It's because they are not thinking straight."
"Have you heard about the plant in the maths office? It is growing square roots!"
"Honey, look what I found on our son's computer *opens folder of walkthroughs, wife starts sobbing* I'm calling the police"
"In the midst of all this negativity and hate please take comfort in remembering that I have a 5 star uber passenger rating"
"The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse."
"Why Trump is the most religious president in United States history? He got Every Juan praying!"
"My Grandpa: killed 17 Nazis and singlehandedly saved his entire battalion in WWII Me: Sits around all day making up stories about my Grandpa"
"I took my cat to Build-A-Bear so he could see what's going to happen to him if he pees on the carpet again."
"When asked by the creepy guy at the bar ""Why aren't you smiling?"" my go-to answer is always ""My yeast infection really is bubbling up."""