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Joke of the Day

"*puts dreamcatcher above bed* ""Sure hope this works"" *wakes up in the middle of the night* *Ryan Gosling is stuck in dreamcatcher* ""YES"""

"How many babies does it take to paint a house? None. The minimum age for physical labour in most places is 13-15 and babies would not be allowed to use the paint"

"Reddit deals with annoying whiners with shadowban, but what about Iran? Taliban"

"Why Batman never joke into comedy. One rule: NO KILLING"

"I wish my x was raised in the power of 2. Then she'd always be positive."

"What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter. He can't come anyways."

"The local radio station is having a contest. First place wins a week in New Jersey. Second place wins 2 weeks in New Jersey."

"What's the difference between traffic and strawberries? You can eat strawberry jam."

"What did the fruit enthusiast do as he was dying? Prepear for the end."

"Calling in sick to work... Me: Im not gonna be able to make it to work today bossman I'm sick Boss: You don't sound sick...? Me: Well, I'm fucking my sister, IS THAT SICK ENOUGH FOR YOU"