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Joke of the Day

"[1st day undercover] Me: [to gang of street punks] what up dongs? Voice through earpiece: OMG its DAWGS u idiot Me: is ur gang hiring today?"

"I was wondering why my laptop saying Hello And Hello And then I remembered.... It's a dell"

"What's the best way to eat a thanksgiving vegetable? Pick her up out of the wheelchair"

"I'm in a long-distance relationship My girlfriend lives in the future."

"What do you call Nicky Minaj's ass? Silicone valley"

"Q: Why are elephants gray? A: So you don't get them confused with blueberries."

"Yo mama so dark she went to night school and was marked absent!"

"What did the letter F say when he became cool? Sup G?"

"Imagine this: you're home alone and you sneeze. Suddenly the phone rings and you answer, then someone whispers ""Bless you"" and hangs up"

"I always tell my kids to stay well clear of any Train tracks... ...except ""Drops of Jupiter"". That one's ok."