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Joke of the Day

"What's green and turns red at the push of a button? A frog in a blender."

"Guess what? Good guess"

"I got a call today from a distorted voice saying ""Five grand in cash, or we kill your wife"" Both options were tempting, but I decided to take the money."

"My colleague can no longer attend next week's seminar on innuendo... Now I have to fill her slot..."

"Me: Time travel Interviewer: what's your biggest stren- holy shit"

"I was invited to a party... The dress code said ""black tie only"". But when I got there, I noticed other people had worn shirts and trousers too"

"Why wouldn't Kurt Cobain let you charge your phone at his house? ...the guy likes his power chords too much."

"What do you give Sean Connery when hes eating nachos in a bathtub? Shower Cream"

"Alan Rickman dies at the age of 69 That sure was a long fall"

"How come I can get free wifi with a $3 cup of coffee but I can't get it with a $150 hotel room?"