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Joke of the Day

"Remember: You are like a snowflake. Beautiful. Unique. White. Only here for a short time. People get mad when you sit on their cars."

"Q: What's the best place to photograph Clinton Administration officials? A: A police lineup."

"Excuse me, ma'am. Your car doesn't make you invisible, but I am super impressed by how far you just got your finger up your nose."

"How do I apply this ointment ""liberally"" without compromising my conservative christian values?"

"A Limerick There once was a man from the Styx Who liked to write Limericks But he failed at the sport Because he wrote them too short"

"Convincing my dog I really threw the ball is the closest I'll ever get to being a magician"

"Sometimes all I'm really doing with my life is just trying to make it from one weekend to the next."

"You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That's your common sense leaving your body."

"[maybe NSFW] How can you tell that a porn star works at your local gas station? Right before he's done filling the tank he pulls out the nozzle and sprays it all over the trunk of your car."

"As a white man I can't say the word Ni.... But I can say ""thank you for the warning officer.."""