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Joke of the Day

"Excuse me, ma'am. Your car doesn't make you invisible, but I am super impressed by how far you just got your finger up your nose."

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"My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous... The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was."
"Rumor has it that the Canadian immigration website crashed because.., Amy Schumer was on it"
"What did Pinocchio say to his girlfriend Sit on my face and I'll tell you some lies."
"A joke finally containing original content Original content."
"Superman: I got this Batman: I'll help S: Look, you just slow me down B: I'm a detective S: ... B: I have batarangs S: Do you hear yourself?"
"18 years ago today, Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum saved our country and our PLANET from an alien invasion. Never forget"
"My dad said if he practiced yoga long enough he could pick up a pencil with his toes. He then proudly mentioned he would be writing footnotes."
"What's the last thing someone wants to hear while blowing Willie Nelson? ""I'm not Willie Nelson."""
"Dr Dolittle A little bird tells me that i may be suffering from Dr Dolittle syndrome."
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