152129

Joke of the Day

"""The concept of romantic love is obsolete in the modern era"" I declare loudly to no one in particular as I grab for another dinner roll."

"Sometimes, to impress girls, I use big words that I don't fully understand... ...in an effort to sound more photosynthesis."

"When the blonde found out her toaster wasn't water proof, she was shocked. A man walked into a therapist office wearing nothing but shrink wrap. The therapist said, ""I can clearly see you're nuts"""

"Why does a priest never get married? Because they got nun to love them"

"What do you call someone who murders a hundred people with a potato masher? A mash murderer."

"do you know what 6.9 is? It's a period ruining a beautiful thing."

"I've been on my computer all night! Don't you think you'd be more comfortable on a bed like everyone else?"

"what type of meat does the pope eat? nun"

"Murder is like art, as long as you can bullshit your way into justifying it, someone out there will be like ""oh yeah, I totally get it."""

"tailor's daughter. Did you hear about the tailor's daughter ? She was so good with a needle and thread she never felt a prick til she was 12 years old."