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Joke of the Day

"UPCOMING JESUS APPERANCES 8/3 Pancake, Norfolk, VA 8/10 Cheeto, Salem, OR 8/19 Window stain, Orem, UT 8/23 Vegemite Jar, Perth, AU"

"France and Italy go to war. Who wins? Neither. France surrenders and Italy switches sides"

"How do you piss off a historian? Give them a tampon and say what period is this from?"

"Dear god, please let me have sex at least as often as adobe or java needs an update. Everyday."

"Heartbeats away from president When you're a Vice President people say you're a heartbeat away from president. But really, it's a failed heartbeat away from president"

"Have you ever seen Ray Charles's mansion? Neither has he."

"What did they name the Chinese remake of ""Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs""? It's Raining Cats and Dogs"

"How is a Mexican like a cue ball? The harder you hit 'em, the more English you get out of them."

"Can you imagine life without women? It would be a pain in the ass."

"My girlfriend told me she loves my brain I told her ""Hey, my eyes are down here""."